• Apr
    20

    Travelers: Meet Potential Relationship Partners Through Dating Sites

     

    Dating sites are great way to meet someone new, partly because you can try out different approaches. If one approach doesn’t work, do something else, either with the same person or with someone new.

    One caution: Be careful of spending a lot of time in Internet Message (IM) chat, email or phone conversations as a way of developing a relationship. This is not a substitute for real life.

    More often than not, people develop relationships this way, then meet and discover they have little, if anything in common.

    Real life is the ultimate pass or fail, so the sooner you meet, the better.

    Chemistry

    This topic gets an enormous amount of attention on many dating sites. While chemistry is important, it’s not the only factor. More often than not, this attraction (which is often infatuation) can pass quickly. If there’s nothing else about the person that you find attractive after the infatuation has faded, the relationship could come to a sudden end.

    Chemistry is important and it’s also important that there’s more about the person that you like, even the chemistry begins to fade, and it almost certainly will, given the passage of time.

    A key factor to long-term relationship success is rapport and being able to maintain that over the long-term. Genuine caring is the true test of relationship. If you genuinely care about your partner and the feeling is reciprocated, that will make a huge difference over the passage of time.

    Expectations

    Like it or not, each person has a list of qualities that they’re looking for, whether written out, or not.

    When beginning to date, it’s unwise to expect that the first person you meet will be the love of your life. Chances are you’ll have to meet many people before that can/will happen. During that time you’ll get a sense of how to conduct yourself, you’ll begin to learn what works or not and this will serve you well.

    One mistake is to approach the date like a job interview. While it’s true that you’re looking for someone who will be right for you, turning the date into an interview can create a tense time for both of you.

    Perils of Perfection

    Many people think that dating should function in a certain way. If you’re new to dating, your first meetings could be quite nerve-wracking, partly because you’re in unfamiliar territory.

    Part of the reason that you’re feeling nervous is because of being too self-conscious, meaning that you’re too concerned about how the other person sees you.

    Here’s a remedy. Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Listen to them and in some cases, repeat what they say back to them. The purpose is to take your consciousness away from yourself and focus it elsewhere. In time, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself.

    © Nathan Segal

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