• May

    Homeless Again


    This morning I’d had all I could stand with the abusive landlords in Esquimalt and I moved out, straight into homelessness again. (More on this later.) I’d hoped to avert that, due to a chance meeting with a former girlfriend. She read my posts from a few days ago and suggested we pool our resources and find a place together. A great idea, but it didn’t work.

    Unfortunately, the same problems that caused our breakups in years past resurfaced and made it impossible to move forward. Still, I”m grateful to her for contacting me.

    Among other things, I was unable to give her the assurances she wanted, and this is largely because of what’s been taken away as a result of my experiences as of late, which Adyashanti refers to as “the dissolving of the personal will.” It’s something that’s very difficult to understand unless it’s happening to you and I was unable to convey this to her in a way that made sense.

    When this dissolving kicks into gear, all sorts of things fall by the wayside, including personal drive, the sense of certainty, the ability to know what to do (and plan) and any semblance of control. A mixed blessing is that negative habits begin to dissolve and so do positive ones.

    The thread running through all of this is “surrender.” At times, I find this hard to take, especially when I’m being triggered, and that’s been happening in a huge way as of late. It’s clear this experience is meant to show me something, maybe several things and I’m not sure what they are – yet.

    At the moment I’m in a cyber cafe’ and in truth, all’s well. I’m just a bit tired. It seems that by chasing around so much trying to find a place, I was missing an essential message, which has been to stop, regardless of having a home and sleep in my car. Eventually I’ll be able to rebuild my energy and a solution will appear.

    My biggest concern is where I’ll sleep at night. I’ve done this before with a van, but I wasn’t homeless and I only did it for a few days. In a car I’m more exposed and that really concerns me.

    One thing that helped was downloading a copy of J.J. Luna’s book: “OFF THE GRID: Live In a Van, Truck or Motorhome,” which talks about places where one can sleep, safely. I’m going to be reading more about this later. I’ll keep everyone posted on my adventures in upcoming posts.

    The Abusive Landlords

    I’m homeless now because I’d had all I could take of the abusive landlords. I’m not going to give full details of where they live, but here are a few bits of information: If you’re looking for a place to stay, avoid a street known as Rock Heights in Esquimalt and two people, Phillipa and Tim. To be fair, Tim is OK, but the person behind the bulk of the grief I experienced was Phillipa.

    I encountered crazy making behavior, mind games and Phillipa telling me how I should live my life, which annoyed me to no end. It was an extremely toxic environment. Here’s one of the listings she offers for your reference. I recommend avoiding this place like the plague. Thankfully, this unpleasant experience is now behind me.

    More on my new direction, adventures and what I learn tomorrow.

    © Nathan Segal

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