• May
    6

    2 Tips for Successful Relationships

     

    In this section, we’ll look at some pointers for developing a long-term, mutually satisfying and loving relationship.

    Communication

    Communication is extremely important and it’s probably the number one reason why relationships fail. After the relationship excitement fades and you suddenly realize you’re dealing with a real person it may become difficult to speak and say what’s on your mind.

    The real problem is rejection, being afraid that you’ll lose your partner if you truly say what you think. If that’s the case, it’s unlikely that your relationship will stand the test of time.

    It’s important to be able to say what you think without fear of judgment or condemnation. Another issue is saying, “Well, I don’t want to make him/her feel bad.” In psychological circles, this is known as: Projection. The reality is that you don’t want your partner to lash back at you if they don’t like what you say. If you examine your thoughts, you’ll realize that this is true.

    Don’t Turn Your Partner into a Renovation Project

    This is one of the worst mistakes made by both men and women. To meet someone, then start noticing the flaws, with the aim of transforming the partner into their ideal man or woman. This is an invitation to disaster.

    Here’s a real-life example: Jeff was dating a woman who was constantly trying to change him, even though there was nothing really wrong with him. Worse, she wouldn’t stop, even after counseling, her friends telling her to back off, etc. After many months, Jeff, tired of the haranguing, ended the relationship and started dating someone else.

    Think about it. What was it that attracted you to your partner in the first place? What was it about him/her that you liked? And what’s the reason for changing them now? Is it something they do that drives you crazy? An annoying habit?
    If you want harmony over the long-term, it’s important to accept your partner as he or she is. If something isn’t working for you in the relationship, you have the opportunity to explore that and learn something about yourself.

    I highly recommend reading the book: “I Need Your Love – Is That True?” by Byron Katie. If you do, and apply the techniques, you’ll learn a lot about relationships – and yourself. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll get what you want – or that the relationship will survive. What it will show you is how your attitudes determine your results, which is valuable beyond price.

    © Nathan Segal

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